


No 19. Broken Hearts

by Smiley5494



Series: Whumptober 2020 [18]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning, Lancelot is dead, Past Merlin/Freya - Freeform, Whumptober 2020, lots of merlins loved ones have died, mourning a loved one, no 19, so is freya, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:20:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27054067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smiley5494/pseuds/Smiley5494
Summary: Merlin mourns the dead, and there are so many of them.
Series: Whumptober 2020 [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1965595
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	No 19. Broken Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> prompt:
> 
> No 19. BROKEN HEARTS  
> Grief | **Mourning Loved One** | Survivor’s Guilt

It had been years since Will’s death, and he’d only known Freya and his father for a little while—few days max—but that didn’t make the loss any less encompassing.

Merlin’s eyes caught on the carved wooden dragon on his bedside table. A rush of pain, pure emotion, flooded him, and Merlin looked away before he could get caught in it. Suddenly, everything in the room reminded him of someone, be that Will, Freya or Balinor. His gaze caught on his spellbook and Lancelot’s noble figure filled his mind.

Merlin missed them more than he ever thought he could miss someone. He didn’t speak, just lay there, empty and apathetic. The world could burn and Merlin wouldn’t move.

Kilgarrah invaded his thoughts, the list of the dead was tucked between the pages of his spellbook, and the weight of those lost lives pressed down on his chest until it felt like he couldn’t breathe. Merlin had let the dragon go, Merlin was responsible for those deaths.

Just like Merlin felt responsible for the deaths brought by the dorocha. If he hadn’t simply mortally wounded Morgause and instead outright killed her, then she couldn’t have been used as a sacrifice and the veil would never have been torn.

He stared blankly at his ceiling, mind whirling with the faces and names of the dead, and Merlin mourned.


End file.
